The skills we have been looking at will help you to connect well with people and if you keep them in mind, they should also ensure your relationships should go well. There may be times however when you need to sort out any difficulties that could arise. One of the key skills in this type of situation is assertiveness.

Assertiveness can sometimes be misunderstood for being rude and being strong in your opinions but assertiveness is the ability to act in a way that is in line with your beliefs and that respects yourself and others equally. Some people find this skill difficult to practice but the key to being appropriately assertive is to see the issue as a win/win situation. Sometimes people refer to this as ‘I’m OK, you’re OK’

Assertiveness seeks to respect how you feel, help you to get a solution that is good for you and help others to feel good about the mutual solution. It is not about getting your own way!

The reason some people find this a difficult skill to practise is often because of lack of self-esteem. If you have poor self-esteem you will find it difficult to treat others equally because you will feel that they are more important than you and that you should give way.